I'm Nervous

This is a big week for me. 

At some point (hopefully tomorrow; if not, Wednesday), hubby and I are going out for our third (and final) day of house-hunting. When we went out on Friday, we looked at three houses, and it took everything my husband had to pull me out of the third one. I am in love. Honestly, I would have tried to convince hubby to put an offer in on it had the realtor brought the paperwork with him on Friday. But he did not, so I had to wait. Which I guess is a good thing because during the weekend I found another house. Not a blow-your-mind-forget-about-that-last-house kind of place, but it does has some advantages (namely it is in move-in condition and has a much larger yard). We plan on touring that house, and if it does not win us over, we will go back to the house I fell in love with on Friday, do another look-around, and then put in an offer.

I am excited. Hubby and I have dreamed of buying our first place together for years, and it looks like we are finally going to be able to achieve that goal. 

I am also incredibly nervous. Buying a house is a big financial step, and while I know we have the money to make this kind of purchase, the idea of having a mortgage frightens me. (Sometimes it seems like we are moving a little too fast; I mean, I am only 24 and I just started my career last year. Am I really grown-up enough to have a mortgage?)

Honestly, I think the real reason I am so nervous is because I am afraid I will never be able to fill a four-bedroom house.

Speaking of which, my hysteroscopy is Tuesday. The hospital called last week to remind me not to eat before or drive after the procedure. I am still waiting to hear from the billing department at the RE's office; they were supposed to let me know in advance how much the surgery is going to cost me. (I should only be responsible for my co-pay at the hospital, but I will call tomorrow to make sure.)

I am excited. But, just like with the house-hunt, I am fighting a serious case of nerves. Not about the surgery itself - I trust my doctor - but I am afraid that the hysteroscopy will not be enough to get my husband and I our take-home baby. What if there is something else ruining our chances at parenthood? I am afraid that the only way we will find out is by getting pregnant and suffering another loss. I really do not want that to happen, but there is nothing I can do about it at this point ...