I realized during my last 2ww that I have very few readily-available distractions. If I was to be completely honest, I would admit that this is a result of the lethargy I have allowed myself to slip into since my last loss. But I am not ready to tackle that. (I know eventually I will need to shake the negative feelings associated with my past losses, but now is just not the time, especially with Baby C's due date less than a month away.)
I will admit that one of my main problems is my lack of hobbies. I used to have something (more often than not, multiple somethings) to do. I would spend hours on my Wii-Fit or go swimming or roller-blading with Hubby. I always in the middle of a book and had a random crochet project half-started. I had lists of movies I wanted to see.
Lately, however, my previously abundant list of hobbies has narrowed down to just one: babies. It seems like everything I do now is somehow related to my future child. I spend hours online, searching for the perfect bedding set for our future nursery. I create spreadsheets and calendars on which I plan out each cycle and its subsequent pregnancy. I pick out nicknames to call Baby while s/he is in-utero and look for sales on maternity clothes.
I realized today that, while these activities help pass the time, they are detrimental to my sanity. There is nothing worse than having your entire pregnancy planned out (complete with the dates on which you plan to hear Baby's heartbeat for the first time, announce your pregnancy, find out if Baby is a girl or a boy, and throw your baby shower) only to have to change the dates when AF shows (a day late, might I add).
So this month, I am going to try picking up a few of my old hobbies again. And hopefully I will be able to make it through this cycle without driving my husband crazy.
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