Morning sickness.
Fertiles fear it, for it makes you feel gross and uncomfortable and can really interfere with your normal lifestyle. Infertiles crave it, for it is an outward sign that *maybe, just maybe* something is going right in there.
At this point, I do not know how I feel about this common pregnancy symptom. (Funny, I also do not know if I should be labeled fertile or infertile ... or maybe a fertile infertile or vice versa.) I admit that the "I feel like I would feel so much better if I just threw up, but I really do not want to throw up" feeling is annoying. I also hate running to the bathroom just to spend a few seconds dry-heaving. (I think the worst part about this is that it only seems to happen when I am super comfortable.)
At the same time, I cannot help but hope, every time I run to the bathroom, that this will be the time I actually vomit. Normally, I hate being physically sick, but I cannot help but reason that since I have never gotten physically sick as a result of a pregnancy, it means only good things if this baby makes me puke.
I guess I will just have to see what happens.
At this point, I feel completely miserable during most of the day, but I have not actually been sick. I think my baby is alive, but I have no proof.
Pregnancy, especially after a loss, is complicated.
I've been dealing with morning sickness (that lasts all day) too. I have such mixed feelings about it. I hate feeling sick all the time, and I'm having a hard time keeping food down, but it's so reassuring that my little one is still in there growing like it should.
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